Thursday, June 22, 2006

Dr. Phil
Dr. Phil

Dr. Phil: Welcome to our show today. We have with us the manager of the 2005 World Champion Chicago White Sox, Ozzie Guillen, Chicago Sun-Times sportswriter Jay Mariotti, White Sox (and Chicago Bulls) owner Jerry Reinsdorf, and the commissioner of Major League Baseball, Bud Selig. Gentlemen, thanks for joining me today.

All: (Shake their heads and mutter acceptance)

Dr. Phil: Now, Ozzie, you apparently have a penchant for not thinking before you speak, am I correct?

Ozzie Guillen: Yes.

Ozzie Guillen
Ozzie Guillen

Dr. Phil: Can you give me some examples of your inability to bite your tongue?

Ozzie Guillen: Uh... well, I cussed Maggs [Magglio Ordonez] out in the newspaper.

Dr. Phil: Now, what exactly did you say?

Ozzie Guillen: Um... he called me an enemy, and I called him a "piece of [expletive deleted]."

Dr. Phil: Is that all you said about Mr. Ordonez?

Ozzie Guillen: (Looking up at the ceiling) No. I called him a Venezuelan [expletive deleted] and that I could [expletive deleted] him a lot of ways. And that he should shut the [expletive deleted] up and play for the Tigers.

Dr. Phil: (Mouth hanging slightly open in astonishment) Wow... well, back when the World Baseball Classic was getting ready to start, you called out Alex Rodriguez, too, did you not?

Ozzie Guillen: Yeah, I said he was kissing Latino people's [expletive deleted] and that he and Nomar [Garciaparra] were full of [expletive deleted].

Dr. Phil: (Chuckling) Boy, Ozzie, the list has really grown in such a short amount of time. Why can't you just think before you speak?

Ozzie Guillen: I don't know, I'm an impulsive kind of person.

Dr. Phil: I'm sensing a lot of anger not just in your use of swear words, but in your aggressiveness on the baseball field. You asked your pitcher Sean Tracey to throw a baseball specifically at the opposing hitter. Why would you want to intentionally put someone at risk for injury like that? I'm appalled.

Ozzie Guillen: No, no, no, you don't get it. I don't want him to end up in the hospital. Throwing at the hitter is how baseball is supposed to be played when they throw at your players. Our catcher A.J. Pierzynski was hit twice by Vicente Padilla. You have to understand that I grew up fighting. And back in my day, if you got intentionally hit, there was going to be a fight.

Dr. Phil: All right, I have an idea of what you're about, now let's get to what we're all here about (motioning to Guillen, Mariotti, Reinsdorf, and Selig): you said, in reference to Jay here, "What a piece of [expletive] he is, [expletive] fag."

Ozzie Guillen: Yeah, this guy has been talking [expletive deleted] about me since I took the job and enough is enough.

Dr. Phil: How do Mr. Mariotti's columns about you make you feel?

Ozzie Guillen: Well, I wish he would say what he writes to my face.

Dr. Phil: Jay, do you intend to hurt Ozzie's feelings or to ruin his reputation with your columns about him?

Jay Mariotti
Jay Mariotti

Jay Mariotti: Absolutely not. As a public figure in such a prominent position as Mr. Guillen is in, he has to be willing to take criticism from the media. That comes with the job. The same goes for me.

Dr. Phil: In reading your latest column today, Jay, you call for a two-week suspension for Ozzie. First of all, that is a long suspension, especially in baseball, and secondly, who should hand out the suspension, Mr. Reinsdorf or Mr. Selig?

Jay Mariotti: It's like the steroid punishment: long enough to send a message for you not to repeat your actions. As I said in my column, "It's more important the Sox send a message about what they stand for than what Guillen's absence might mean in a pennant race." And it really doesn't matter who suspends him as long as he is suspended. Mr. Selig would be sending a strong message, and Mr. Reinsdorf, for once in his professional career, would actually take a stand on something. So, it doesn't really mattter as long as he is ultimately punished.

Bud Selig
Bud Selig

Dr. Phil: Bud, are you going to do anything about this situation yourself?

Bud Selig: No, this situation is isolated in that it involves Ozzie and Jay and not Major League Baseball as a whole.

Jay Mariotti: But he represents your business! He is your employee! You can't accept his going around and alienating potential customers by insulting an entire group of people.

Jerry Reinsdorf: I agree. When you boil it down, it all comes down to business, which is why I am going to suspend him. I don't want to create the perception that we condone what Ozzie says or that he is saying it. We have too many loyal fans who pay good money and deserve not to be insulted like this.

Jerry Reinsdorf
Jerry Reinsdorf

Dr. Phil: How does this make you feel, Ozzie? Do you think you deserve the suspension?

Ozzie Guillen: No, I already apologized for using that word. In Venezuela, it means that the person does not have any courage. I just wasn't aware it was such an offensive word here.

Dr. Phil: That's a load of crap!

Ozzie Guillen: It is upsetting that I am not able to say what I want to say. Isn't that what America is all about?

Bud Selig: No, Ozzie, you don't have the right to speak freely when you are representing someone else's business. You represent Major League Baseball and, subsequently, the Chicago White Sox. And you represent the city of Chicago and its fans. By offending homosexuals with your slur, you are increasing the possibility that we (motioning to himself and Jerry Reinsdorf) will lose money as a result. Being that you are our employee, we reserve the right to restrict your speech as well as the right to punish you if you do step over the line.

Dr. Phil: Do you see what Mr. Selig is saying, Ozzie? You're the representative for a lot of people and it's your duty to make a good impression on potential patrons; to give Major League Baseball and your team the best possible image. Now, to change the subject, I think your comment to Jay reveals that you are a homophobe.

Ozzie Guillen: Well, first, I'm not a homophobe, because "homo" means "one," and "phobe" means "one that fears." I'm not afraid of one, Dr. Phil.

Dr. Phil: Very well, but you know what I meant. You're afraid of homosexuals.

Ozzie Guillen: No, no, I'm not. I have gay friends. I go to WNBA games. I even go to Madonna concerts.

Dr. Phil: Sheryl Swoopes is the only WNBA player to "come out of the closet" thus far, and how does going to Madonna's concerts make you not afraid of homosexuals?

Madonna and Britney Spears
Madonna and Britney Spears

Ozzie Guillen: Did you see her kissing Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera at the 2003 MTV Video Music Awards?

Dr. Phil: Yes, but...

Ozzie Guillen: So, she's gay, and I support her by going to her concerts.

Dr. Phil: What can you say you've done wrong in this fiasco?

Ozzie Guillen: I used a bad word, that's all.

Jay Mariotti: That's all? You offended an entire group of people!

Ozzie Guillen: Jay, why don't you go write another piece of [expletive deleted] column or something?

Jay Mariotti : I would if I wasn't being physically threatened every time I step foot in the clubhouse -- and Jerry here pays no mind at all to it.

Dr. Phil: Do you condone the physical threats that Jay has received, Jerry?

Jerry Reinsdorf: Absolutely not, we've tried to contact Mr. Mariotti with letters, but we never received a response back.

Jay Mariotti: Ever heard of a phone call?

Dr. Phil: Well, Jay, we know you have a rocky history with the Chicago White Sox. You've threatened to sue both television announcer Ken Harrselson, and Mr. Reinsdorf here, and you've been critical of everyone since you've been writing for the Sun-Times. Are you holding some kind of a personal vendetta against them?

Jay Mariotti: Not a chance. I'm a professional. If they're not doing their job correctly, it's my job as a critic to call them out for it, and they should be prepared to deal with criticism. I don't appreciate how I've been treated over the years by this franchise, but I'm a professional, and I have always kept it that way.

Dr. Phil: Is there anyway you three (motioning to Ozzie, Jay, and Jerry) can come to a mutal agreement and stop the feud?

All Three (Ozzie, Jay, Jerry): Not a chance in hell, Phil!

Dr. Phil: Oh, brother... well, that's all the time we have today, thank you gentlemen for coming on the show today.

All: (Shake their heads and mutter acceptance)