POP! RIP! AND OTHER ONOMATOPOEIA
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
Pop! What Shane Victorino heard from his calf.
Screech! The sound Michael Bourn made as he tried to halt his un-Baryshnikov-like faceplant in foul territory down the first base line at Wrigley field.
Rustle. Phillies upper management looking for familiar names on coffee-stained Minor League scouting reports from Ottawa and Reading.
Ring. GM Pat Gillick calls other teams, looking to trade garbage for gold.
Click. Other GM's hang up the phone.
Simultaneously, Phillies fans turn off their television sets and broadband feeds in frustration.
Swish! What Jimmy Rollins thought the Phillies' shot at the NL East would be.
Drip, drip, drip. The lifeblood of the Phillies' playoff push slowly leaking onto the floor.
Screech! Jayson Werth and Chris Roberson hail cabs to the nearest airport.
Zip. Doctors zip up their black bags, tattered from overuse, after examining close to $40 million in injured Phillies this season.
Tick-tock. The clock hands move ever so swiftly as the trading deadline nears -- just 17 hours following Victorino and Bourn's injuries.
Sweep. A sound the Phillies hope not to hear during the final two months of the regular season.
Gulp. Minor Leaguers face the task of being asked to fill the shoes of proven Major Leaguers.
Poof! Another playoff appearance for the Phils disappearing.
Boing! Phillies upper management presses the eject button on manager Charlie Manuel's seat.
zzz... there's always the Eagles!
The List -- Phillies Injuries in 2007
- Michael Bourn (July 31 - September)
- 1 year/$380,000
- Freddy Garcia (June 8 - September)
- $10M/1 year remaining on 3 years/$27M contract
- Tom Gordon (May 2 - July 16)
- 3 years/$18M ($4.5M club option in '09), earning $7M in 2007
- Ryan Howard (May 10-24)
- 1 year/$900,000
- Jon Lieber (June 20 - all of 2007)
- $7.5M/1 year remaining on 3 years/$21M contract
- Ryan Madson (July 30 - September)
- 1 year/$1.1M
- Scott Mathieson (Sept. 3, 2006 - Sept. 2007)
- 1 year/$380,000
- Brett Myers (May 24 - July 27)
- In first year of 3 years/$25.75M contract, earning $5M in 2007
- Francisco Rosario (June 16 - )
- 1 year/$100,000
- Chase Utley (July 26 - ?)
- In first year of 7 years/$85M contract, earning $4.5M in 2007
- Shane Victorino (July 31 - mid-August)
- 1 year/$410,000
- Jayson Werth (June 29 - early-August)
- 1 year/$850,000
- The Total: 13 players, $38,120,000 total (42.6% of their $89,428,213 payroll)
Chief Justice John Roberts fell victim to a seizure on July 30 (Link). He previously had a seizure in 1993.
What last happened in 1993? The Phillies made the playoffs.
Conspiracy Theory II?
Take a look at the Phillies television commercials. Notice which Phillies are acting in them:
- Ballgirl Autograph: Ryan Madson is thrown a bit of a "curve" by a young fan asking for his autograph.
- Utley Autograph: Jamie Moyer surpises Chase Utley with a request for his autograph.
- Is That Me?: Brett Myers, Shane Victorino prove there's a "little fan in all of us" as they ham it up on PhanaVision.
Four of the five Phillies in those three commercials have since gone on the disabled list since they were aired. Jamie Moyer stands alone. Take out an insurance policy, Jamie.