HURRICANE KATRINA ISN'T PART OF YOUR LIFE

Friday, September 2, 2005

This kid has a reason to be upset.
You don't.

Hurricane Katrina has been more devastating than the attacks on September 11, 2001, and the unfortunate people who are living in Louisiana, Mississippi, and Alabama are left with nothing more than the shirt on their back - if that. And so quick is the media to gush from their hearts by pleading for your donations, as if $5 will revive fallen pieces of what was once a family. The truth is, your donations don't mean a thing, just like your vote on election day. George Steinbrenner, the infamous head of the Yankees, pledged $1 million, and the NFL did likewise. $1 million sure is a lot of money, but rest assured that the only reason such celebrities and organizations are putting out any money at all is for good public relations.

The truth is, no one outside of the tri-state area - Louisiana, Mississippi, and Alabama - cares about the Hurricane and its effects. Your $5 donation has the same motive as George Steinbrenner's: you don't want to look like a cold-blooded person: you donate to fit in. Your $5 is going to buy someone a quarter of a shirt; Steinbrenner's $1 million is going to build one house. There were 25,000 people left behind as buses shuttled people to Houston, Texas alone. I don't think we're going to fit 25,000 people in one house, are we? Not even two, not even 1,000. These donations are as fake as the polished-desk smile that every reporter puts on when the TelePrompter forces them to yap on about the Hurricane. Hey, George, if you care so much, why don't you donate some of the $200 million you give to the 25 guys that take the field every night? Instead of giving Alex Rodriguez $25.2 million a year for 10 years, why don't you donate $10 million and put a Minor Leaguer on the field instead of signing baseball's elite, expensive players? Steinbrenner uses $1 million as napkins for dinner guests, give me a break.

These reporters don't care.

Behind every news story that has an acoustic guitar quietly being strummed in the background is a TV-News executive grinning over the Nielsen ratings because every pseudo-American has his and her eyes glued to the television set waiting for the next "breaking story" update, as if knowing that someone is shooting at the rescue helicopters is going to change our, the Northeasterners, day to day lives. No, it makes no difference. We just want our friends and family to know that we are compassionate, America-loving citizens - good P.R. If these reporters really cared about what was going on, rather than collecting another paycheck, then they'd toss their microphones down and help some people off the roofs of what's left of their house.

When the tsunamis devastated southeast Asia, we were quick to go and send aid and donate money, and many other countries followed in suit. Now that America has had Mother Nature wreak havoc on our homeland, where is the rest of the world at our bedside? Could it be that no one wants to help little-old, cocky America, the country that went against the United Nations to invade Iraq? The country that made a sophomoric switch from "French Toast" to "Freedom Toast"? The country that didn't even have the decency to lie when we found zero, zilch, nada weapons of mass destruction in Iraq? The country that knew that the dams couldn't hold off a Category V hurricane, but decided to cut funding by $72.1 million anyway (because a Democrat was elected to the Senate)? Yes, that country. That country brought this on themselves, and that country doesn't deserve one ounce of sympathy, especially not the empty compassion of its own citizens.

So, save your $5 and buy a gallon and a half of gas - you'll need it.